Allow me to exaggerate a memory or two
Where summers lasted longer then, longer than we do
When nothing really mattered except for me to be with you
But in time we all forgot and we all grew.

Your melody sounds as sweet as the first time it was sung
With a little bit more character for show
And by the time your father's heard of all the wrong you've done
Then I'm putting out the lantern
Find your own way back home.

If I've forgotten how to sing before I've sung this song
I'll write it all across the wall before my job is done
And I'll even have the courtesy of admitting I was wrong
As the final words before I'm dead and gone.

You've never been so divine in accepting your defeat
And I've never been more scared to be alone
If love is not enough to put my enemies to sleep
Then I'm putting out the lantern
Find your own way back home.

So that's it then? Panic as we once knew it is no more. Sure, Brendon and Spencer will continue to call themselves that, but they won't truly 
be. What is Brendon without Ryan? And what are we to do?

The last time I saw them play. I wish I had known I'd never really see them again. Maybe I would have enjoyed it more. I mean really enjoyed it. Like soaked up every word and chord and light and breath. I would have memorized the movement and the feeling. If only I had known.

I loved the direction they were going. The sound of Ryan's voice was reassuring. Pretty. Odd. felt like me. They seemed to progress as I did. "That's the thing, Panic. We're the same, you and I."
So what am I now?

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum,
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
He was my noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever- I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

I guess this is goodbye.

Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: Panic At the Disco, "The Piano Knows Something I Don't Know"

So I just got mad bitched at by some guy. Awesome. He had lost something at an event and, at some point, spoke to someone that works here who claims to have found it. This person told the caller to call me during the week, because this happened on a weekend and I do not work on weekends and I handle matters like this. So the guy calls me and, big surprise, I don't have the thing he has lost. I ask everyone that works with the person who found it, and no one has seen it. After several days of this guy calling my office literally every fifteen minutes, I finally get a hold of the person who found his lost item. This person tells me where they left it (a secure place where all things that are lost are left before I arrive) and it is not there. So I call the dude and apologize and tell him that it is lost again and sometimes these things happen and I am going to continue looking into it until I have exhausted all possibilities but as of right now, we do not have it. So then he just started to yell. Apparently he is a doctor (which he said several times, much like Tracy Morgan's Star Jones on the View- "Well I am a lawyer.") and some of his patients' information was contained in the lost item. It was very difficult for me to not say, "Well if this item is so important to you, perhaps you should have been more careful with it in the first place." So he yelled some more, and asked why I was even here, why I was being paid if I don't do anything, etc. Very nice, I think. Especially because all I have done for the last 3 days is stress out over this fucking guy and drive myself crazy trying to find what he lost. I was literally insane, as I kept checking the same places and asking the same people, yet expecting a different result than the one I had gotten every other time. Thanks, guy, for recognizing that I did everything I could and that some things are just out of my hands.

And I tried to use the best PR skills I had, constantly responding to his declarations of "So someone stole it!" with "We can't be positive that is what happened," and "No one is saying it was stolen," and "We don't have any proof of that."
And, my personal favorite interaction-
Man: "So you're telling me to go to hell!"
Me: "No, sir, I assure you, I am not."

Man: "I want to speak to a supervisor!"
Me: "Sure." *transfer*click*

Now don't ever call me again.

Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: Empires, "I Want Blood"

Uh oh, you guys. Uh oh.

The invisible entry might be rearing its ugly head once more. At least I have one powerful agent on my side now. That's one more than I had for the first go round.
I also have the passage of time. And regret. And plenty of other things that will hopefully add up to this not being such a black cloud anymore.

It's been two years, for Pete's sake! (Pete's sake; oh the irony.) Of all the people to accidentally publicly humiliate, why did it have to be this guy?

Current Mood: nauseated

 I was just talking with a work friend that I am off and on vaguely interested in, and he asked what I did this weekend. I said that I went to the gym a lot. His response- "Why?"
Ahh, work boy. This response was surely one hundred percent "Why would anyone want to go to the gym for an extended amount of time," but it felt like what he meant was "Why would you have to go to the gym?" I have been feeling fat lately, so hearing this, even if I did interpret it wrong, makes me feel better about things.
Yay for ambiguous meanings.

Why are people the way they are?  Why do they say one thing and do another? Why do we assume the worst of those around us? Are we all just leading each other on? 

Why do nights at Angels and Kings always leave me like this? 

Vaguely related- William Beckett is not my biggest fan. But Mike Carden is very nice. You win some, you lose some.

Current Mood: discontent

So it's obvious that Ryan is the day and Keltie is the night, right? So, with that in mind, listen to "Holy Spaces," which was written by Brendan.

Good Lord, Panic. Even when you aren't trying to be you so, so are.

On a completely unrelated note, I do not like balsamic vinaigrette. No, I do not.

Tags: pretty odd

"i'm picking up what you're droppin and i just might like it."

Now how am I supposed to interpret that?

Well it's only fair.

I might have ruined everything.

Took me long enough.

So lots of awesome this week. Lots. And it's only Wednesday.

New Panic song finally came out. It is sunshine and magic and puppies and rainbows and guitars and sideswept bangs and Sgt. Pepper and red nail polish and new underwear and everything I love. I love it/them so hard I can hardly see.

Ordered tickets for Kirsten and me. Can't wait.

Last night was Angels & Kings. I made a weird new friend, danced around a whole lot and developed a slight crush on Rob Hitt. Not a bad night if I do say so myself.

I sort of asked a guy at work on a quasi-date. It should be vaguely interesting.

I bought a new pair of heels and I am in love with them.

Joey Lawrence will be at my place of business tomorrow, and that is awesome.

Party on Friday. Lupe Fiasco on Saturday. Superbowl on Sunday. Not a bad plan.

I am currently watching the fourth season of the OC, and a Butch Walker song was playing over the start of the episode. What they lack in realistic plotlines they make up for in rockin' tunes.

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Panic At the Disco, "Nine in the Afternoon"

You guys are whores.

You're really starting to piss me off.

You know what? Fuck you guys. I'm going to the gym.

Stupid Panic and your stupid games I'm not clever enough to get all the way through.

Edit:
Okay, so I ran off some of that anger energy and finished the puzzle and I am hating you much less.
Sorry for the harsh words. I was just so frustrated. Rage blackouts, you know.

Current Mood: pissed off